Relationship Advice From A Relationship Failure

Let's see here...first of all I'd like to pat myself on the back for writing TWO blogs in ONE day! My sister Leslie encouraged me to keep up on my blog...she likes reading it. I think the only reason she likes reading it is because it makes her happy to know her little sister is WAY crazier than her!! ;) Love ya Les!

Now, for a little background info. on myself. I starting having "boyfriends" in middle school. Most lasted a few weeks. It was the passing notes in class, holding hands in the hallway, meeting up at the skating rink once in awhile type of boyfriends. In highschool I actually started going on dates with my boyfriends. A normal boyfriend for me would last anywhere between 24 hours & 7 days. LOL-I didn't like the commitment or someone having a say over what I could or couldn't do. Then I met my ex-husband. I dated Chad for longer than anyone I'd ever dated...2 1/2 years before getting married. OBVIOUSLY that didn't last and after 2 years we sepearated and divorced. Since Chad I have dated a total of 3 men and only 1 of those men did I even let myself be interested in seriously. I was sooo hurt by the divorce that it was easier for me to put up a gaurd and not let anyone in. During this guarded period I've observed A LOT of my friends' relationships and relationships in general. I am by NO means a relationship expert but I hope these tips can help newly weds, engagees, and or struggling couples!! :)

1. COMMUNICATE!! It sounds easy but most couples don't. It's not so hard to tell your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee "Hey, I had a bad day sweetie. I just need some time to wind down, okay?" That is just a simple example, but instead of stating or COMMUNICATING what's going on couples tend to give eachother the cold shoulder or are grumpy to their love which in turn makes the other person feel down and get upset. If you don't communicate your love can take your actions or emotions completely the wrong way which only turns into future prolems or misunderstandings.

2. Be HONEST!! Remember that saying "Honesty is the Best Policy?"...well they were right. Honesty goes along with communicating. Lying or beating around the bush is easier sometimes, but just for that moment. Eventually the truth will come out and it can completely damage the relationship. Although being truthful might not sound like a "good" idea, it is sooo much better to know the truth about something when it happens instead of finding out from someone else.

3. USE KIND WORDS!! Maybe your main squeeze is wearing something eh, not so attractive, use common sense!! DO NOT blurt out "OMG, is that what your wearing?!" Instead use constructive critisism such as "Oh, I was hoping you'd wear this shirt...it looks so good on you!" That's obviously a kindergarden example but simply stating things in a positive way can help you avoid sooo many unneccesary arguments. There are of course times that you might be in a bad mood or in a rush and blurt things out in a mean/degrading/or rude manner. Don't beat yourself up about it later....mend the situation right then. Say your sorry for being rude/mean/degrading and explain that you are just in a rush or that you had a bad day or whatever the case may be.

4. PICK YOUR BATTLES!! I have seen soooo many couples fight over the dumbest things! My ex-hubby & I fought over EVERYTHING!! We fought over the normal money troubles but then we fought over who would drive, what car to take, how to correctly set a table...literally the dumbest things EVER! There are times that your love is going to get under your skin or drive ya nutso some days but pick your battles wisely! I don't think putting the toilet seat down is a valid battle nor is what kind of pasta sauce he/she picked out. Those are things that ya learn to live with! If the whole toilet seat thing bothers you then address it when you aren't snappy...ask nicely..and ya know what if he forgets time and time again I don't think it will kill ya to put it down yourself. Or boys how about when your love leaves out tampons or pads?? Trust me, that time of the month for us isn't all roses! It wouldn't kill ya to just put the tampons/pads away yourself, would it? Its simple and dumb things like those examples that so many couples argue about! That brings me to number 5...

5. ONCE BATTLES ARE PICKED...BATTLE THEM OUT IN PRIVATE!! This is a HUGE pet peave of mine: Arguing in front of family, friends, crap even the store cashier doesn't want to hear you arguing!! It makes people feel uncomfortable and ansy. Although, you might have a valid point at that moment...save it for later! Most likely if you save the "valid point" for later you will have cooled off and realized it might not be a good battle to pick! :) Another thing that kills me is when couples argue in front of their children. No matter what age the child is, it's tough for them to comprehend what you are arguing about and all they see is anger. Just keep your "battles" in private, with the only people they involve!

6. BE AFFECTIONATE!! Now for those of you that know me well, I'm not affectionate! Over the years though I have learned that just a simple hug or a peck on the cheeck can make your love's day, week, or even year (I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU!! lol-sorry I had to do it!!) Seriously though, the most recent guy I dated has been the most affectionate by far! There were times I had had a bad day, walked through his door, and automatically he gave me a hug and it made me feel like I was special to him. Or a simple kiss before he/she leaves for work. It's little things like that that most couples tend to forget about after being together for so long. When I was little I thought it was yucky to see my dad give my mom a kiss under the mistletoe or before he leaves for a simple church meeting...now I realize how important simple affection can be!

7. GIVE & GIVE!! Have you ever been in a relationship where you constantly feel like you are giving anc giving and giving but your love is never giving back to you?? I think some of the most successfull relationships I've observed are ones where both people are giving. I'm not just talking about material things either. Give your man his "guy time" when he wants to watch football and in turn run your girl a bath once in a while. When you are constantly giving back to eachother no one feels like they are being taken advantage of or left out.

8. SACRIFICE!! I'll be the first one to say I'm extremely selfish but when you decide to be in a relationship, ya have to sacrifice for eachother! There are times that I didn't want to watch a golf tournament on T.V. but if it meant spending time with my babe I didn't complain and I SACRIFICED my time to watch golf. There are times that men DON'T want to watch a Lifetime movie but they SACRIFICE their pride for an hour or two to make you happy. Those are basic examples but how about the big ones such as missing a night out with the guys to stay at home with your ill girl. Or not going to the salon to get your hair or nails done in order to save the money to get your honey something nice for his b-day. There are so many things you can sacrifice for eachother just because you can! :) Always make sure it's a sacrifice/sacrifice relationship though. Nobody wants to sacrifice for their love all the time with no sacrificing on their side.

9. SMILE!! There are have been times that I literally wanted to yell my brains out about something stupid my ex did. But instead I smiled. I learned to smile or laugh off steam that was non productive. What if your love is bringing over speghetti to the table, trips on his/her shoelace, and drops sketti everywhere what is your first reaction? Most people's would be OMG, what the hell are we going to do for dinner? Now I have to go clean the carpet...blah, blah, blah. Instead, smile..ask if he/she is okay. Laugh it off. Smiling eases the tention or embarrasment. Try it sometime!

10. TRUST UNTIL GIVEN REASON NOT TO!! This one is simple...if you go into a relationship with someone not trusting them: IT WON'T WORK! Trust your love until their is reason not to! :)

Like I said before, I'm not the love guru! Those 10 statements of advice are coming from a complete relationship failure!! LOL-But observing has made me wise and I learn from my mistakes. Hope you enjoyed! :) I have a job interview tomorrow so I'm headed to bed...wish me luck! ~ciao ciao~

Utah State Fair

Most of my life I've been told by close friends that I'm pretty clumsy. I've also been told by many that my life is interesting due to the fact that really weird/odd things happen to me. I've come to the conclusion that I'm clumsy because I have really small feet and my life is interesting because I make really dumb disicions which in turn make GREAT stories! Here is a story to add to the collection of "Caitlin's Dumb but Funny Stories"!

I've made a great friend out here in Utah and her name is Stacey. Stacey is a great friend in more than one way! 1.-She listens to me and gives me great advice when I'm down. 2.-She has a great sense of humor and really knows how to make me laugh. 3.-She's not an alcoholic...LOL...and she likes doing other things than just going to a bar! :) On a beautiful day in Salt Lake City, Utah Stacey invites me to the Utah State Fair! I hadn't been to a fair in forEVER so I figured it'd be fun! Stacey's mom, Stacey, & I all venture to the fair for some shows, fattening food, fun rides, and of course sexy pics!



Earlier in the day I had recieved free tickets to go to the dew tour (A Pro Skateboard/BMX/Sports Show) so after hanging out at the fair stacey & I decided to head over to the dew tour. We stayed until they closed @ 6pm and we wanted to return to the fair. Here's where my "not so smart decision making skills" come into play. Instead of taking a cab 5 or 6 blocks to the fair Stacey & I decided to walk back to the fair and save some cash. Well below is a picture of the bridge we were going to have to cross and I was too terrified to cross it.



Stacey & I walked around the bridge through a parking lot where stacey biffed it!!



Once we both stopped laughing and attempting to NOT pee our pants we went on our way to a dead end! The parking lot was blocked off by a chain link fence...What the hell? Who blocks off a random parking lot...who cares if there are railroad tracks close by. Didn't they know that one day two girls were going to need to get over those railroad tracks in order to get to the fair???



LOL-We found a hole in the fence climbed through and went along our marry way. We walked for about 15 or 20 more minutes through back streets when we realized we had NO idea where we were! But to our dismay we heard music...Oh my...is that a Mariachi band we heard. Yes!! But it wasn't the fair...we had found a family party with TONS of hispanic people. Stacey & I were very excited to see this band. She got so excited she tried to hang from a tree but the branch came down and hit a teenage boy in the head!! I started laughing so hard I had to walk away and she ran after me! The boy was okay but I'm sure he was embarrased that he got hit in the head with a tree branch by a white girl! :) Stacey & I walked some more and after about an hour of walking we gave up, hailed a cab, and we were there in no less than 2 minutes!!! lol. I think the trip to the fair was funner than the actual fair!! :) Here are some pics to prove that we actually got there though!
Who knew how HUGE tigers are in real life!!


I yelled at these people for playing lame music! I said "HEY, Floridians don't listen to lame music like this!!"


This was me sitting down after our hour walk. Yeah, I'm a fat kid...get over it! :)


I did not fall in my families footsteps as far as photography goes! Please ignore the amature-ness of my pics!

I'm a Serial Car Owner!

So I started to think about ALL of the cars I've owned over the years and it's a lota cars! I didn't necessarily purchase all of these vehicles, some I bought, some were given to me, some I borrowed until I broke them. lol. Hope ya enjoy the journey of my MANY cars!

1st we have the 1990 Crysler Lebaron. This is the vehicle I learned to drive in. :) My dad let me use this until I bought my own car. And even though I eventually did he ended up giving the Lebaron to my ex-husband Chad when his car broke down. This car holds lots of fond memories for me. :) My friends called it the red baron. I think Chad drove it till it died. Mine had more sun damage and kinda a dirty roof...but I loved it! :)



Next up is my 1995 Ford Escort that I bought with my very own money at the age of 16 I believe. :) Mine was Barney purple with some sparkles. lol. LOVED this car.



Then came the 1998 Dodge Dakota Sport. This was never my vehicle but my dad let me use it when my ford went to crap. I drove the dodge until I threw a rod...who knew you had to change the oil??? lol...I learned a big lesson that day. My dad's was red with big tires...It was awesome! REST IN PEACE



Then comes the dreaded but loved Mini Van. When Chad & I engaged his parents gave us the van for reliable transportation. We even honey mooned in this van! :) Ours was green and kinda smelled funny...but it ran great! Eventually we bought our own vehicles and gave the van back to his parents.



So my Brother in law Ed owned a tow yard in JB, FL and I swung by one day and fell in love with a hunk of junk! :) My first 5 speed...a 1990 Nissan 240sx. OMG, I loved this car even though it smelled like gas and every time I shifted gears a HUGE puff of white smoke flew out of the tail pipe. lol. I kept this car for about 8 or 9 months...pretty much until it died on me. Mine was a maroon color with sun damage and bumpin' system in the back.



Once Chad & I knew the 240 was on it's last leg we decided to get a BRAND NEW car!! We bought our very first reliable car!! lol. A brand new 2003 Kia Optima. Ours was white and only had 24 miles on it when we purchased!! He kept that in the divorce but traded it in when we were still going through our divorce for an escalade. LOL-sucks to be him with the gas prices the way they are. ;)



While we were still married, he finally gave in and agreed to buy me a new car so I didn't have to drive the 240 anymore. I bought my very own brand new 2005 Mistubishi Lancer. I was soooo excited! It had 100 miles on it when I purchased it, had the new car smell (instead of the oil smell), and was a 5 speed that shifted sooo smooth. I showed this car off like it was a 150K vehicle. :) My baby was hit by my friends boat propeller...but was fixed up like new. :) THEN-my dumb ass fell asleep at the wheel, flipped the car, and totalled it. I guess in the long run it was a good thing though b/c that was the only thing tying me to my ex-hubby.



After flipping that car, I went on with my life and found my true love...a 2003 Volkswagon GTI. Yes, that is a turbo engine. :) I seriously LOVED this car. I cleaned her every weekend, never ate in her, and spent most of my time with her! ;) But once again, bad decision on my part of not paying my car payment for umm...6 months. LOL-she got repoed and I miss her tons!



So this brings me to my wonderful mom & dad who have done soooo much to help me in my 23 years of existance. My dad bought a 2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee for me to use until I got back on my feet and could afford my own car. I never really got "back on my feet" so eventually he traded in the Jeep that has some mechanical issues and that brings me to my next Love. :)




A classic worth millions I'm sure! A 1987 Toyota Camry. LOL-yeah I bet you weren't expecting that! lol. Although, I'm a brat and wanted a nice car I've really grown to love my car. It might be just a few years shy of my age but this car is bomb. It drives great, gets great gas millage, and the heater works GREAT. :) I thought it would be really funny to take sexy pictures with my car like ppl do with their 200k cars. I haven't done it, and probably won't but it was a funny thought. :)



Well, I hope you enjoyed the journey of my cars! In case you were wondering, I've had 10 cars in the 7 years I've been driving. LOL-I wasn't kidding when I said I was a serial car owner! :D